Skip to main content

Catching Dreams & Catching Vomit...In Your Hands

In my daydreams, I play the hero. This is how I pass the time. I know. It is so lame. But I think there is a part of us that wants that hero moment. There is a part of me that wants to know I'll do the right thing, if that moment were to happen.

At church, I know where the defibrillator is. A hero who had a defibrillator saved my dad. Maybe I can return the favor if someone collapses. I'll make a bee-line for it, while shouting to my wife to call 911. Surely, a doctor will meet me at the victim, and we'll save the day.

There is a white van with no windows (so creepy - always the windowless van). It approaches kids. I sweep in, separate the kids from the van, and get a solid description. The police track him down. We save the day.

Grossly, these days, the hero daydreams are extreme...

I am early to pick my kids up from school. I spot a person who shouldn't be there. He tries to enter, and I pounce. I knock him out cold. I save the day.

I've never knocked anyone out cold before.

And I've had none of those moments. In reality, I hope I don't. That would mean something horrible was happening. But I'd like to know I would react quickly and at least try to help.

I thought I was approaching the scene of a potential hero moment one early morning. My drive to work is usually in the 3 AM hour. You may not be aware, but the traffic is light at that time, and I typically coast into work, barely remembering the drive.

Occasionally, at that hour of night, weird things happen. I was stuck behind a taxi driver that fell asleep at the wheel. I've had a person run at my car and knock on the windows, trying to get in. I dodged wrong way drivers on one-way streets. Oh, and I see a lot of coyotes.

This time, I spotted a bike in the middle of the road. I put on the high beams and noticed a body lying near the bike. As I approached in my car, I called 911 immediately. For starters, someone was down and needed help. Also, I was alone. I wanted to let someone know where I was.

I got out of the car. If this person needed me to stop any bleeding or needed CPR, well, then it was go time. As I got closer, I smelled it. This person was wasted.

I still wanted to make sure he was okay. I positioned my vehicle so oncoming cars could see it (there were none). I didn't want him to get run over. Also, because I am on the news and see many bizarre stories, I wondered if he had something else in his system. If I wake him, will he freak out and come at me?

I checked to see if he was breathing. He was. He also needed a mint.

There was no apparent blood from the fall.

The paramedics showed up.

We thanked each other, and I went to work.

My hero moment wasn't to be.

Maybe our hero work can be smaller. Maybe our hero work is less visible.

I've held the hand of my toddler while he sat on the toilet because "going" hurt.

I've cupped my hands to catch vomit.

I've been peed on. In the face. Seriously. That only happened once, with the first kid, and sure as hell would not happen again.

Maybe that's the hero stuff. I'm not sure.

But in the meantime, I'll be daydreaming, hoping that if a hero moment comes my way, I'll know what to do.

Please subscribe for more Hangry Dad: Click Here


  1. Catching vomit, being peed on in the face or anywhere, just being a stand up dad makes you the hero. In a big way. So many sperm donors out there but so few dads. #hero

  2. Take it from a grandma who had neither a hero dad nor hero ex...I’ve seen your posts. YOU are a hero. Hang in hero daddy Brian they know and they will remember.

    1. You are so nice!!! You made me smile :)

    2. You are a true Hero! You got out of your car, not caring if it was a prank just to hurt you and Rob you. You didn't think it twice to help and not leave him there. something many would not do.So to me you are a Hero, congratulations.

    3. MZ Here
      Well to start off you have crazy dreams. But you don't have to dream crazy dreams to be a hero. You are a true Hero. you are hero to your beautiful boys. And to you wife. You are hero on tv when you give us updates on the weather.always giving us heads up. That's being hero,

  3. Ask your kids! You are their hero Brian!
    AND I can say you've been pretty heroic at work many times too! Thank you!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My #1 Rule for Raising Kids

When I was a kid, I wanted to be one of two things: a garbageman or a weatherman. How cool is a garbage collector? You chuck trash into a truck, watch it get chewed up, and hang off the back of the truck as it goes! Plus, say "hi" to everyone. To this day, I've never met a grumpy garbage collector. They're always dishing out the biggest waves and smiles. I also liked the weather. When I was little, the weather scared me. What do you mean a hurricane has an eye? Like an actual eye? What kind of monster is this? The more I learned, the more weather fascinated me. The power of storms was captivating. I never wanted to be on television, but the only person I saw with a weather job was a TV weather person. So, I thought, that's what I'll do. My parents didn't deter me. Get an education. Be a good person. Hopefully, the rest falls into place. Now, I'm the parent. My oldest, Dylan, wants to be a pilot. That's awesome! Aimee and I have big p

All My Money Goes to 7-11. But There, I Buy Memories!

I keep 7-11 in business. Not literally. But maybe I do. I don't see their books. Maybe me and my three boys are keeping them in the black. How often do we go to 7-11?

I Was Choking and My Kids Didn't Know What a Phone Was.

I have this thing that happens when I eat too fast. It gets stuck. It doesn't happen a lot, but every few months, it happens. Yes, I know. I need help in many ways. I was making tacos for dinner. We get that yellow kit from Old El Paso. Don't judge. They are good and it's rather easy. Except my wife likes me to cut up tomatoes fairly small, and that part is annoying. Not her, but the tomato dicing. The kit was a half hard shell and half tortilla one. I heat the tortillas in the microwave for 30 seconds. When they come out, they are smoking hot and perfect to eat. I always grab one and gobble it down as I put the finishing touches on my 100% homemade-out-of-a-box dinner.  This time, I gobbled too fast. I'll spare you the details. Wait, no I won't. It got stuck. It's not in the throat area, but more down in the chest area. After some painful minutes, it usually pushes its way down and I am good. Drinking water to speed the process doesn't help. I am just stuck