Hangry Dad

I went to the childbirth class. We spent a whole Saturday with other expectant couples, going over everything first-time parents needed to know. Well, I thought they told us everything. The instructor left out the most important part: I would hold a leg.

"Did you like the food they had at camp?" Aimee asked Carter. Carter responded, "I liked it. But I didn't like their cheeseburgers." That was odd, because Carter loved cheeseburgers.  However, he said the cheese wasn't  melted   — rather they had slices you could just put on as a topping. Understandable. I don't like that either. But then Aimee asked, "Well, why did you get the cheese? You could have had a hamburger." Carter, always the joker, responded, "I never had a hamburger before. I'm not sure I'd like ham on top of my burger." Funny guy. We laughed. A lot. And then we realized he wasn't laughing.  Our rising 4th grader didn't know what a hamburger was. But why would he? No one ever explained it to him. He enjoyed cheeseburgers, so he never explored having a "ham" burger. We felt some serious parent guilt for laughing. Even as adults, we learn new things all the time... If I&

Grady missed Carter terribly. Carter spent the week at overnight camp, so Grady didn’t have his partner around. At bath time, Aimee asked Grady what he liked best about Carter. Grady’s response had us speechless.

The secret to a happy marriage is a king size bed. "It's like you're not even there," my wife did not say, but I assume she's thinking.

I walked into Matt's office to let him know the news: We were expecting our third child. By "we," I mean Aimee. She had the baby inside her. I was expecting heart palpitations and gray hair. Matt, my boss, had three grown kids, so this was a good time to ask him about the change. I told him I didn't know what to expect. We'd be outnumbered . Two seemed like plenty. "What's it going to be like?" I'll never forget his response.

It's after church on Saturday evening. Aimee and I are tired and hungry, thus indecisive. This leads to an epic mistake: We ask the kids where they want to eat.

"I'm done with the talking back. Done with it. If you don't change your attitude, all your video games  are gone . GONE! " He shaped up. I felt great. Good parenting. "What's that ? We don't use that word. How many times have I told you that? If you say it again, you're losing your iPad for the rest of the month! ” He shaped up. I felt great. Good parenting. “You can’t hit. You're to come and tell me first! I don't care what he did!  You can't just hit someone.  All your stuffed animals, consider them gone!” There was no more hitting after that. I felt great. Good parenting. End of post. I wish. "Brian . You can't just threaten to get rid of all their stuff." Uh-oh. Aimee was right. My frustration gets the best of me and my go-to-punishment is to take away something for a ridiculous amount of time. "The rest of the summer!" "The whole year!"  When my oldest was 3 , he refus

When I was a kid, I wanted to be one of two things: a garbageman or a weatherman. How cool is a garbage collector? You chuck trash into a truck, watch it get chewed up, and hang off the back of the truck as it goes! Plus, say "hi" to everyone. To this day, I've never met a grumpy garbage collector. They're always dishing out the biggest waves and smiles. I also liked the weather. When I was little, the weather scared me. What do you mean a hurricane has an eye? Like an actual eye? What kind of monster is this? The more I learned, the more weather fascinated me. The power of storms was captivating. I never wanted to be on television, but the only person I saw with a weather job was a TV weather person. So, I thought, that's what I'll do. My parents didn't deter me. Get an education. Be a good person. Hopefully, the rest falls into place. Now, I'm the parent. My oldest, Dylan, wants to be a pilot. That's awesome! Aimee and I have big p

It was the end of an intense basketball game, made more draining by the lack of air conditioning. I was the coach. I was feeling good about myself, which is usually a recipe for disaster. 

Carter doesn't say much. Even at 9 years old, he's our quietest one, by far. Grady says more in the first hour of the day than Carter says all day — no exaggeration. So, when he speaks, we listen. He has an incredible gift to see a situation through someone else's eyes.