Skip to main content

I'm an Idiot. My kid didn't know what a hamburger was.

"Did you like the food they had at camp?" Aimee asked Carter.

Carter responded, "I liked it. But I didn't like their cheeseburgers."

That was odd, because Carter loved cheeseburgers. 

However, he said the cheese wasn't melted  rather they had slices you could just put on as a topping. Understandable. I don't like that either.

But then Aimee asked, "Well, why did you get the cheese? You could have had a hamburger."

Carter, always the joker, responded, "I never had a hamburger before. I'm not sure I'd like ham on top of my burger."

Funny guy. We laughed. A lot.

And then we realized he wasn't laughing. 

Our rising 4th grader didn't know what a hamburger was. But why would he? No one ever explained it to him. He enjoyed cheeseburgers, so he never explored having a "ham" burger.

We felt some serious parent guilt for laughing.

Even as adults, we learn new things all the time...

If I'm at an event or a buffet, and they have a meat and cheese section, I'm a happy man. Upon returning from an event I emceed, a co-worker asked me about the food. I mentioned the meat tray. And she said, "Oh, a charcuterie." To that, I responded, "Yup."

Why in the world did I respond with a "Yup"?

I had no idea what a charcuterie was, but I played along. Have you even done that? I don't know why I do that sometimes. Pride? Embarrassment of not knowing something I think I should know? Ease of the conversation? 

However, right when that conversation ended, I did what anyone would do — I Googled it.

Along the same line, I was reading an article about a big event with all the top names in Hollywood, fashion, and music. It's called Coachella. The article made me feel like an idiot. It never explained what it was. It assumed I should know, and if I didn't, well, I was what I thought I was... an idiot.

At first, I thought Coachella was a purse. It sounded fancy. But I don't think TMZers would be headed to a purse. That made little sense.

I was about to Google it, but my friend Vanessa walked into our TV studio. In my mind, she knows everything (she does). I asked her. I don't mind being a moron around her, because we're good friends.

She said she recently found out what that was too. It's a big music event or something. She knows me and implied that it was okay I didn't know. 

It's funny the things you realize you don't know as you go along in life. We all have those moments, be it a hamburger, or a tray of meat, or a giant purse festival with famous people.

Please subscribe for more Hangry Dad: Click Here


  1. Hi! Good afternoon, MZ here . I can't believe you never told your 4th grader what a hamburger was , wow! Poor thing, well I am with him Cheeseburgers should have the cheese melted. You just don't throw it on top of the burger 🍔. Next time he will know what a hamburger 🍔 cheese just a bun with meat, lol .you shouldn't had felt like an idiot, because I never knew what a Coachella was till now .well thank you for this story it was a nice made me 😃 smile.till next time.Have a great afternoon.

    1. I like Idiot better than euphemism. Although it has a lots of meanings .it also means pass away, died, ignorance, but you don't have to use any of Beause you are not an Idiot. So you are going to ask Carter whats a 🍔 hambur

  2. Yes, I think we have all done that at least once in our lifetime. Nothing wrong with it. Thank goodness for Google though. I remember having to look it up in the dictionary or encyclopedia. Kids today have no idea what they are. Showing my age again. As always I enjoy your thoughtful posts.

  3. Google is my best friend as an old person, trying to keep up with the kids these days. Also, a cheeseburger has cheese, a turkey burger is made of turkey, a salmon burger is made of salmon, a veggie burger is made of veggies, why wouldn't a hamburger have/be made of ham?? I'd say his reasoning checks out. We take for granted what we know, I don't remember being told what a hamburger is but at some point I was told. Just one of those things that feels like we've "always known".

  4. Wait... did I make the charcuterie comment? Lol can’t be, that’s a hard one for me to say! ... although I have practiced it a lot using google pronunciation. 🤣🤣

  5. Always so truthful and sincere...…..that's our Carter:)


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My #1 Rule for Raising Kids

When I was a kid, I wanted to be one of two things: a garbageman or a weatherman. How cool is a garbage collector? You chuck trash into a truck, watch it get chewed up, and hang off the back of the truck as it goes! Plus, say "hi" to everyone. To this day, I've never met a grumpy garbage collector. They're always dishing out the biggest waves and smiles. I also liked the weather. When I was little, the weather scared me. What do you mean a hurricane has an eye? Like an actual eye? What kind of monster is this? The more I learned, the more weather fascinated me. The power of storms was captivating. I never wanted to be on television, but the only person I saw with a weather job was a TV weather person. So, I thought, that's what I'll do. My parents didn't deter me. Get an education. Be a good person. Hopefully, the rest falls into place. Now, I'm the parent. My oldest, Dylan, wants to be a pilot. That's awesome! Aimee and I have big p

All My Money Goes to 7-11. But There, I Buy Memories!

I keep 7-11 in business. Not literally. But maybe I do. I don't see their books. Maybe me and my three boys are keeping them in the black. How often do we go to 7-11?

I Was Choking and My Kids Didn't Know What a Phone Was.

I have this thing that happens when I eat too fast. It gets stuck. It doesn't happen a lot, but every few months, it happens. Yes, I know. I need help in many ways. I was making tacos for dinner. We get that yellow kit from Old El Paso. Don't judge. They are good and it's rather easy. Except my wife likes me to cut up tomatoes fairly small, and that part is annoying. Not her, but the tomato dicing. The kit was a half hard shell and half tortilla one. I heat the tortillas in the microwave for 30 seconds. When they come out, they are smoking hot and perfect to eat. I always grab one and gobble it down as I put the finishing touches on my 100% homemade-out-of-a-box dinner.  This time, I gobbled too fast. I'll spare you the details. Wait, no I won't. It got stuck. It's not in the throat area, but more down in the chest area. After some painful minutes, it usually pushes its way down and I am good. Drinking water to speed the process doesn't help. I am just stuck