The Craziest Time of Day is Taking the Kids to School

7:25 AM.

"5 more minutes."

Silence from the kids. They gaze at their devices.

At this point in the morning routine, everything should be done. Teeth brushed. Socks on. Water bottles filled. Snack in bag. Bags packed.

Should. Everything should be done.

7:28 AM.

"2 more minutes."

"Really? That's it?" one of the boys unwisely asks.

7:30 AM.

"It's time to go!"

Dylan rips off his headphones and looks at me. "Time to go now?"

Are you freaking kidding me?

What part of "time to go" does he not understand? Did I leave open the possibility of some other time we might leave?

It's time to get your behind off the couch and into my car.


Where is the confusion?

All 3 boys sense my frustration. By "sense", I mean they can hear me yelling.

Dylan grabs his backpack.

"Don't forget to kiss your mom!" I exclaim angrily.

Aimee isn't pleased. The kids should want to say goodbye. They do, but they are torn between their love of mom, and their dad's madness.

"Carter! What in God's name are you doing?!"

He's petting and hugging his puppy. Yup. I yell at him for that.

Grady hugs his mom (not wanting to let go of the sane parent) and heads to my car.

It's 7:32 AM.

"Close the door! The dog!" Aimee shouts.

"Sweet!" I think but do not say. She's in on the action now. Misery loves company.

I look at Carter. My head is about to explode.

"How the heck are your socks not on?"

Dylan walks back inside. Back inside. He forgot a snack. He sees the look on my face and says in a panic, "Never mind. I don't need a snack." He tries to run back out.

This is how crazy I am. If he's going to come back in for a snack (bad move on his part), then he is getting that stupid snack. I make him hastily grab one.

What is wrong with me?

It's 7:34 AM.

Carter attempts to walk out.

Aimee yells, "Carter! Your backpack!"

The kid is walking out the door. To school. Without his backpack. He's walking out the door, to go to school, and he doesn't have his backpack.

He turns around and grabs his backpack.

I notice he has one shoe on. One shoe.

One shoe. How is that even possible?

Clearly, I'm failing as a parent.

It's 7:35 AM.

We leave.

We're going to be late.

7:49 AM.

We arrive at school.

We're 6 minutes early.


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  1. Wow! Brian you have to slowdown, do you want to have a heart attract, you are too young to die young. Dear Brian, boys will be boys, by nature boys are a bit lazy😂 You have to calm down, they know whose the boss at home, trust me I have. 6 brothers. Just take away what they like the most, just for one day tell them they are not ready by the time you say let's go. Then you take away something else they like and don't let them have it back till they listen to you.yelling at them will not work, they will just get mad at you for a while.But they will learn that you mean business. They love their Dad, eventually things will get better.Take my advice and take care of yourself , yelling will get you nowhere.oh and I have 6 sisters too 12 all together.6 and 6. We are a very big and happy a wonderful blessed night. I hope you get my reply.last time I know you didn't get it.MZ

  2. Wow, I guess I now know what my kids went through growing up. I have always been one to arrive early. My wife still jumps all over me today about when to leave for an appointment. She waits till the last minute and it drives me crazy. I will say though that I did leave an impression on my kids because to this day they say they always leave early to allow for any mishaps along the way. Children do remember some things we try to teach them, so keep teaching.

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