Skip to main content

The Craziest Time of Day is Taking the Kids to School

7:25 AM.

"5 more minutes."

Silence from the kids. They gaze at their devices.

At this point in the morning routine, everything should be done. Teeth brushed. Socks on. Water bottles filled. Snack in bag. Bags packed.

Should. Everything should be done.

7:28 AM.

"2 more minutes."

"Really? That's it?" one of the boys unwisely asks.

7:30 AM.

"It's time to go!"

Dylan rips off his headphones and looks at me. "Time to go now?"

Are you freaking kidding me?

What part of "time to go" does he not understand? Did I leave open the possibility of some other time we might leave?

It's time to get your behind off the couch and into my car.

Now.

Where is the confusion?

All 3 boys sense my frustration. By "sense", I mean they can hear me yelling.

Dylan grabs his backpack.



"Don't forget to kiss your mom!" I exclaim angrily.

Aimee isn't pleased. The kids should want to say goodbye. They do, but they are torn between their love of mom, and their dad's madness.

"Carter! What in God's name are you doing?!"

He's petting and hugging his puppy. Yup. I yell at him for that.

Grady hugs his mom (not wanting to let go of the sane parent) and heads to my car.

It's 7:32 AM.

"Close the door! The dog!" Aimee shouts.

"Sweet!" I think but do not say. She's in on the action now. Misery loves company.

I look at Carter. My head is about to explode.

"How the heck are your socks not on?"

Dylan walks back inside. Back inside. He forgot a snack. He sees the look on my face and says in a panic, "Never mind. I don't need a snack." He tries to run back out.

This is how crazy I am. If he's going to come back in for a snack (bad move on his part), then he is getting that stupid snack. I make him hastily grab one.

What is wrong with me?

It's 7:34 AM.

Carter attempts to walk out.

Aimee yells, "Carter! Your backpack!"

The kid is walking out the door. To school. Without his backpack. He's walking out the door, to go to school, and he doesn't have his backpack.

He turns around and grabs his backpack.

I notice he has one shoe on. One shoe.

One shoe. How is that even possible?

Clearly, I'm failing as a parent.




It's 7:35 AM.

We leave.

We're going to be late.

7:49 AM.

We arrive at school.

We're 6 minutes early.

Early.

Please subscribe for more Hangry Dad: Click Here

Comments

  1. Wow! Brian you have to slowdown, do you want to have a heart attract, you are too young to die young. Dear Brian, boys will be boys, by nature boys are a bit lazy😂 You have to calm down, they know whose the boss at home, trust me I have. 6 brothers. Just take away what they like the most, just for one day tell them they are not ready by the time you say let's go. Then you take away something else they like and don't let them have it back till they listen to you.yelling at them will not work, they will just get mad at you for a while.But they will learn that you mean business. They love their Dad, eventually things will get better.Take my advice and take care of yourself , yelling will get you nowhere.oh and I have 6 sisters too 12 all together.6 and 6. We are a very big and happy family.lol.Have a wonderful blessed night. I hope you get my reply.last time I know you didn't get it.MZ

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow, I guess I now know what my kids went through growing up. I have always been one to arrive early. My wife still jumps all over me today about when to leave for an appointment. She waits till the last minute and it drives me crazy. I will say though that I did leave an impression on my kids because to this day they say they always leave early to allow for any mishaps along the way. Children do remember some things we try to teach them, so keep teaching.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My #1 Rule for Raising Kids

When I was a kid, I wanted to be one of two things: a garbageman or a weatherman. How cool is a garbage collector? You chuck trash into a truck, watch it get chewed up, and hang off the back of the truck as it goes! Plus, say "hi" to everyone. To this day, I've never met a grumpy garbage collector. They're always dishing out the biggest waves and smiles. I also liked the weather. When I was little, the weather scared me. What do you mean a hurricane has an eye? Like an actual eye? What kind of monster is this? The more I learned, the more weather fascinated me. The power of storms was captivating. I never wanted to be on television, but the only person I saw with a weather job was a TV weather person. So, I thought, that's what I'll do. My parents didn't deter me. Get an education. Be a good person. Hopefully, the rest falls into place. Now, I'm the parent. My oldest, Dylan, wants to be a pilot. That's awesome! Aimee and I have big p

All My Money Goes to 7-11. But There, I Buy Memories!

I keep 7-11 in business. Not literally. But maybe I do. I don't see their books. Maybe me and my three boys are keeping them in the black. How often do we go to 7-11?

I Was Choking and My Kids Didn't Know What a Phone Was.

I have this thing that happens when I eat too fast. It gets stuck. It doesn't happen a lot, but every few months, it happens. Yes, I know. I need help in many ways. I was making tacos for dinner. We get that yellow kit from Old El Paso. Don't judge. They are good and it's rather easy. Except my wife likes me to cut up tomatoes fairly small, and that part is annoying. Not her, but the tomato dicing. The kit was a half hard shell and half tortilla one. I heat the tortillas in the microwave for 30 seconds. When they come out, they are smoking hot and perfect to eat. I always grab one and gobble it down as I put the finishing touches on my 100% homemade-out-of-a-box dinner.  This time, I gobbled too fast. I'll spare you the details. Wait, no I won't. It got stuck. It's not in the throat area, but more down in the chest area. After some painful minutes, it usually pushes its way down and I am good. Drinking water to speed the process doesn't help. I am just stuck