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Showing posts from January, 2021

I Was Choking and My Kids Didn't Know What a Phone Was.

I have this thing that happens when I eat too fast. It gets stuck. It doesn't happen a lot, but every few months, it happens. Yes, I know. I need help in many ways. I was making tacos for dinner. We get that yellow kit from Old El Paso. Don't judge. They are good and it's rather easy. Except my wife likes me to cut up tomatoes fairly small, and that part is annoying. Not her, but the tomato dicing. The kit was a half hard shell and half tortilla one. I heat the tortillas in the microwave for 30 seconds. When they come out, they are smoking hot and perfect to eat. I always grab one and gobble it down as I put the finishing touches on my 100% homemade-out-of-a-box dinner.  This time, I gobbled too fast. I'll spare you the details. Wait, no I won't. It got stuck. It's not in the throat area, but more down in the chest area. After some painful minutes, it usually pushes its way down and I am good. Drinking water to speed the process doesn't help. I am just stuck

Saturday Mornings are "Dad, Minecraft Isn't Working!"

Let’s rewind one year... I look forward to my Saturday mornings with the kids. Our youngest two wake up even before our puppy. However, I get excited to see their glasses-free faces next to our bed at 6 AM (we clean their glasses nightly and leave them downstairs).  On a Saturday morning, we went downstairs, and they picked up their devices. This is perfectly acceptable for a Saturday. They play while I can get some coffee, walk our pup, and just ease into the day. When they want breakfast, I’m on it! All was going great until someone forgot their password to something. Usually, that's not a big deal. But this time, they forgot their password for a program I paid for — which irked me (it irked the hell out of me, but I am trying to not use bad language). Maybe I slept poorly. Maybe I am just not as good of a person as I want to be. But the only thing I wanted to do was pick up the iPad and smash it over my knee. Before you comment that I might want to speak with someone